Friendly disclaimer:this post was to go up early in November but I didn’t have the guts then. But here it is now!
I am beautiful . I am African . I am black but not really black. I am white but not really white. I am brown but not really brown. Am I a white African? No, I am yellow. I am light skin.
I do not understand why black girls lighten or bleach their skins yet we’ve all seen the side effects.
Lemme sample some of your thoughts at this juncture :
“she’s talking like that because she’s light skin”
“try being dark skin for once in your life”
“you don’t know what I’ve been through as a dark skin”
“preach girl ”
“I’m just here for the comments”
“so, you’re lightskin, can I get your number baby?”
I am “light skin”. I’ve gone through so much,too. Mostly being confused as a “mzungu”(white girl) or as a “pointy”(mixed girl) in my own country. Heavens, I’ve been mistaken to be Indian,Taita, Somali, Arab. Question should be, what haven’t I been mistaken for? (Note:no dislike to the tribes mentioned)
Sometimes this mistaken identity tickles my fancy. Thrills me. More than often I play along…
A: Are you Kenyan ?
B: Why? What do I look?
A: Like someone from majuu(abroad)
B: Well actually am British(here is where I fake a very convincing British accent)…
Then it gets boring when person A keeps asking questions and am forced to tell the truth.
B(me): Am actually Kenyan ,believe it or not.
Obviously person B won’t believe me but whose problem is that? Exactly!
Some of the advantages I have as a lightskin:
- Anything looks good on me. I mean do I have to explain this? You know how good I look right?
- It’s so Easy to grab people’s attention. Plus there’s this myth that light skins don’t have to struggle so much during courtship because the other guy is the one to hustle to get your attention . I don’t think this is true though.
- Also try wearing anything that shows legs. Above the knees, below the knees. Really doesn’t matter, stares will come your way. And whistles, don’t forget the whistles!
- Also,occasionally Being confused for celebrities. I mean I could go to the village and say am Beyoncé and everyone would believe me. Or not😬
Of course there are Disadvantages:
- Being mistaken for a blonde(dumb)
- Sometimes am literally afraid to go for functions because of all the attention that comes my way.
- Also,Becoming more lighter. It happens sometimes when your skin is glowing probably coz of your hormones or being in love (the latter is mom’s theory) people tend to think you’re lightening your all-ready-light-skin.
Am sure you’re wondering ,
Have I ever thought of darkening? Making my skin more black? Of course . I mean I got bullied in high school constantly because of my skin color. Times like this I would wish I were black to avoid all the belittling.
Come to think of it, all my life I’ve been bullied one way or another because of being light skin .
Sometimes when am walking down the streets of Nairobi and see another beautiful (ain’t they always) light skin girl , I can’t help but wonder if they’ve undergone the kind of stigma that I have.
There’s this time that’s so striking in my mind when I think about bullying . I was in high school,walking with a friend towards the hostel from a PE session. Had my PE kit on. Light Green shirt and a jungle green wrapskirt right above the knees. Some girl who I had talked to occasionally told me that I looked so burnt and that I needed more melanin. She continued, ‘yani naeza kuongezea melanin na bado nitabaki na nyingi” (I can share some of my melanin with you and I would still have enough left)
Not to forget all the “mchongoanos”(ridicule) I got regarding light skins. Oh well. I survived. Besides, it’s not my fault I was born yellow so find a way to handle it if you have a problem with my skin.
I am beautiful . I am African . I am black but not really black. I am white but not really white. I am brown but not really brown. I am yellow. I do not lack melanin. I am not allergic to the sun. Yes am more prone to sunburns and I do get them especially after spending hours on end at the pool. But you know what? They heal and I become more yellow than ever. And I , I am beautiful. More beautiful than fearful.😊
Ps.wishing you a very indelible 2016 full of God’s grace and peace. May you learn to love yourself deeper . xx